To care for someone versus to care about someone (2025)

If someone tells you he or she "cares for you" what meaning to you give that phrase? To me it means that the person loves me (I am heterosexual and if a man tells me (a woman) that he cares "for" me, to me that is pretty close to saying he loves me (as a lover). However, if he says, "I care "about" you, that is just like a friend saying they care what happens to you. The person cares if you are doing well or not doing well.

My late husband used to say that he wanted me to "care with, for, and about him" In that context, I understood he wanted me to care about the things (causes) that he cared about (care with), for (I took to mean to love him and also to "take care of" him). About him, meant he wanted me to care about what happened to him and if he was doing fine or not doing fine.

Do other people think "caring for" a person has the implication that the person loves the other person?

I certainly include "care about" among the possible interpretations of a sentence such as "I care for her".

It can also mean that I provide her with care even though I have no personal feelings for her:

I care for the elderly at a nursing home.

I think it's a great idea to collect opinions from different speakers regarding the "subtleties" of any given phrase.

I can think of three basic meanings for "I care for her.":
(1) I care for her. = I love her.
(2) I care for her. = I have some feelings for her but I'm not wildly in love with her.
(3) I care for her. = I provide her with some type of care, but I have no personal feelings for her.

I'd be inclined to use "I care about her" with the meaning in (2).

Yes, I would agree with those three meanings. However, I would add this:

I care for her - I love her (and provide care for her)

To me (49, midwestern US English) "I care for her" only means "I have some feelings for her" and doesn't mean "I love her." I do agree that it is about the same intensity as "I care about her."

If someone I was in love with said, "I care for you," I would think that there was an imbalance in the relationship and that I felt more strongly than the other person did.

owlman5 said:

I think it's a great idea to collect opinions from different speakers regarding the "subtleties" of any given phrase.

I can think of three basic meanings for "I care for her.":
(1) I care for her. = I love her.
(2) I care for her. = I have some feelings for her but I'm not wildly in love with her.
(3) I care for her. = I provide her with some type of care, but I have no personal feelings for her.

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(1) doesn't work for me. If I love her, I say so. "I care for her" says I have feelings for her, but not (yet?) strong enough to be called "love"

If you're collecting meanings, let me add -
(15) A polite way to offer something --> Would you care for another piece of pie?
.

What fascinates me about choice number (2) is that it often is used to mean the two extremes, particularly when used with "about", as in "really love" or as suggested, "have special feelings for, but not "in love with".

You don't really love me. Yes I do, I really care about you. (I actually do love you)

or

I'm sorry I've found someone else to love, but I really care about you and always will. (I/we thought we were in love, it didn't work out, but it wasn't just any relationship, it had meaning to me, and you are special, truly.)

While examples have been given, a particular point hasn't been stated in so many words: to care for has both physical and emotional meanings.

Physical: to tend to the needs of. She cares for two children. He cares for his disabled brother. Nurses care for those who are ill.Emotional: the range under discussion in the foregoing posts, from to "be in love with" to care about as a friend.

Parla said:

While examples have been given, a particular point hasn't been stated in so many words: to care for has both physical and emotional meanings.

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Do you mean to say that "to care about" on the other hand doesn't have both both physical and emotional meanings?

Paulfromitaly said:

Do you mean to say that "to care about" on the other hand doesn't have both both physical and emotional meanings?

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Correct. I care about my disabled neighbour - ie I take an interest in my neighbour's wellbeing. I may also care for my neighbour by going to the shops to buy his milk and bread, but I might leave that to somebody else, because I don't care about him enough to put myself to any inconvenience.

mcrosbie said:

...
My late husband used to say that he wanted me to "care with, for, and about him" In that context, I understood he wanted me to care about the things (causes) that he cared about (care with), for (I took to mean to love him and also to "take care of" him). About him, meant he wanted me to care about what happened to him and if he was doing fine or not doing fine.

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What would "care with him" mean?

mcrosbie said:

I am beginning to wonder if there have been some popular songs on the hit parade over the years that use "care for" in this way.

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I've got one for you:

Who Cares? by George and Ira Gershwin

Who cares if the sky cares
To fall in the sea?
Who cares what banks fail in Yonkers,
Long as you've got a kiss that conquers?

Why should I care?
Life is one long jubilee,
So long as I care for you
And you care for me!

What would "care with him" mean?

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MCrosbie says that to her, it means to care about the same things that the other person cares about. It doesn't mean that to me, nor have I ever before heard anyone use "care with".

The prepositions I hear used with "care" are for and about, as discussed in this thread, and to (where "care" has the meaning of choose or like—as in "Would you care to have lunch with me tomorrow?").

It is an old thread, but I want to add something and ask something further.
According to Longman Advanced American Dictionary, "care for" as a phrasal verb has two entries/meanings and one is "to love someone. but not in a romantic way."
The example given is " Frequent visits are the best way to show your mother you care for her."
(The other meaning is "to help someone who is old, sick, weak etc. and not able to do things for themselves.)

However after reading the replies on this thread, I'm starting to wonder if the definition here is correct(?).
It seems like most native speakers think "Care for" includes romantic love, am I correct?

If so, if a person says "I got divorced but I still care for my ex." does that imply that he still likes them romantically?
And if it does, what if "care about" was used? Could it mean "I still love them as a person but not romantically"?

Thank you.

brighthope said:

It seems like most native speakers think "Care for" includes romantic love, am I correct?

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Include? Yes. Exclusively? No.

If so, if a person says "I got divorced but I still care for my ex." does that imply that he still likes them romantically?

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Possibly

And if it does, what if "care about" was used? Could it mean "I still love them as a person but not romantically"?

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It could.